Creepy Old Mansion on Phoenix Way, Tuesday Afternoon

[newroutines]

Standing on Phoenix Way on Maryland's Fandom Island, looking at his new house on this cloudy Tuesday afternoon, Mike was finally starting to have some second thoughts about this plan of moving away from Florida. Specifically, the part where he'd thought buying a fixer-upper that he hadn't seen except for in photographs, even if it had been practically for nothing, with plans of renovating it and then selling it to someone else for a profit once he felt like moving on.

One, the house that stood before him right now was a mansion. Second, it was nowhere near the condition he'd been led to believe it would be in, although if he was honest, he'd expected that. What he had not expected was that the house... was also a little creepy. That was just great.

But he'd come this far and wasn't about to just give up when he hadn't even been inside yet. So, he walked up to the front door, used his key on the lock and stepped inside.

(Yes, silently bracing himself for bats or something.)

[ooc: For the other guy in for a major surprise!]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

No, there was just a surly werewolf. Bats might have been preferable in all honesty.

Derek did his normal looming thing from the top of the rickety staircase at the entrance of the house. And no, he was not going to say hello. Or say anything at all.

Creeper.

[newroutines]

Mike glanced around, at first. House did not look great, he had to say. Not great at all. And he was a little unsure about the second fl--

"Whoa!"

Yes, he did actually bring a hand up to his chest after looking up, because seriously. Random guys standing silently at the top of staircases was not something he'd been expecting. Mini heart attacks were not uncalled for.

"Uh, hi? Hello."

[justlurkinghere]

"How did you get inside?" Derek was so awesome at friendly banter.

[newroutines]

Again, not what Mike had been expecting.

"... With my keys?"

Keys, which he then held up. And jangled.

"See?"

[justlurkinghere]

Derek glared at those keys, glared them right down. "And where did you get keys to my house?"

YOU WEREA SQUATTER, DEREK.

[newroutines]

Mike frowned up at him. He wasn't really sure claiming ownership over the mansion was the smartest thing to do, but...

"Uh, I got them from the guy that sold this place to me. It's my house."

He had paid for it.

[justlurkinghere]

"What."

[newroutines]

"I bought the house." Mike thought that explained itself, didn't it? He was still going to elaborate, though. "This house. It's mine."

Even if he was starting to get the feeling that if he tried to call the guy who'd sold it now, he wasn't going to get anywhere.

"Why are you here? This place was supposed to be empty."

[justlurkinghere]

"I live here." In the creepy house. Without electrical or running water.

Fandom's real estate agent was batshit crazy.

[newroutines]

Mike glanced around, then gave him a justifiably weirded out look for that.

"Dude, are you crazy? This place doesn't look like anyone's been living here for years."

[justlurkinghere]

"And you bought it." Hey, at least Derek was here for free.

[newroutines]

And had basically just outed himself as a squatter. Thanks for that, Derek.

"Well, I didn't know it was going to be this bad," Mike replied, a little defensively. Seriously, those photos had to have been from the nineties at the latest. "Whatever, it's my house and as far as I can tell, you're tresspassing on my property. So if you could leave, that would be great."

[justlurkinghere]

"Good for you, I live here." Mature Derek was mature.

Of course, that would be when Puppy Joe made an appearance, completely ruining any badass cred as he carefully plopped down one stair at a time. You try running down stairs when you're the size of a freaking stapler.

[newroutines]

Mike had been about to make some comment about being more than happy to get the police involved if Derek refused to go quietly.

Instead he stared at Puppy Joe.

"What the fuck is that?"

[justlurkinghere]

Hey. Hey.

Puppy Joe was amazing.

"It's a dog."

Oh god, look at it bounce on down. This could take a while.

[newroutines]

He was pretty amazing, Mike would freely admit that. But a small fluffy dog was still one of the things he really had not expected to encounter in his house.

"Your dog?"

[justlurkinghere]

"No one else here." That was a surly yes, Mike.

[newroutines]

It was probably a bad idea to laugh. Mike let a little laugh out anyway, although it sounded a bit like he wasn't sure whether there was anything funny about any of this.

"Okay. And does your dog live here too?"

[justlurkinghere]

Oh god, the sound of laughter! Puppy Joe didn't k is how to handle that! Which would be why he was now barking like a spaz.

"No, he has a nice condo in Baltimore." What do you think, Mike?

[newroutines]

Hey, Derek wasn't even supposed to be here! He could have had some kind of a better place somewhere for his dog. Somehow.

Mike eyed Puppy Joe. "Does he freak out every time someone laughs?"

He'd only been around Derek for five minutes and already he would not be surprised if the answer was yes.

[justlurkinghere]

"I hadn't noticed." Yessssss.

[newroutines]

Yeah, not surprised.

Mike sighed. "Okay, man, what are we going to do here? You planning on leaving peacefully or what?"

[justlurkinghere]

"I'm not leaving," Derek replied, making his way down the stairs to where that ball of fluff he called a dog was struggling with the last stair.

[newroutines]

Mike resisted the urge to take a few steps back. Even if the guy kind of had the air of a humorless drug dealer, he wasn't intending to cower or anything unless he had real reason to.

Also, Puppy Joe's struggles helped with that. Because it was kind of adorable. Unlike Derek.

"Then what are you going to do?"

[justlurkinghere]

"I think the question is what are you going to do?"

[newroutines]

"Me?" Mike asked. "I'm gonna check into a hotel tonight, and tomorrow I'm gonna start looking into getting this place some lights and heat and stuff. That's what I'm going to do."

[justlurkinghere]

"Fine." He wasn't moving out, though. "Don't leave the basement door open."

[newroutines]

"Wasn't going to. So you're really not leaving?"

Of course not, that would be silly.

"Great, just great. I'm Mike, by the way. Your new landlord, apparently."

[justlurkinghere]

"Derek," he said after a moment if staring at Mike until it reached that kind of uncomfortable area. "Stay away at the end of the month."

Not the full moon. Really. At all.

[newroutines]

"What, why?" Mike asked, though he wasn't really sure he wanted to know, actually. Not after he'd just been creepy stared at like that.

"You know what, nevermind. I'm sure I can do that."

It better not be drug dealing, though.

[justlurkinghere]

Hey! Derek wasn't a drug dealer. "Don't let any teenagers in the house either."

Stiles.

[newroutines]

Derek looked like a drug dealer, so there.

"Not that I was going to but, man, you can't make all the rules."

Because it was Mike's fucking house so he had to have some control over it, right?

[justlurkinghere]

Derek stated at him expectantly, waiting for the rules Mike would come up with. They better not be dumb, man.

[newroutines]

There was a moment.

And then: "What, I don't have any ready yet. I'll let you know when I do, though."

[justlurkinghere]

"Good to know."

[newroutines]

"Yeah, I'm gonna go take a tour of the house, now," Mike decided after a moment. "You... go on being creepy, or whatever it is that you do."

Seriously. He had the creepiest squatter known to man.

[justlurkinghere]

It was a gift and a curse.

Derek rolled his eyes, picking up the puppy before it could attempt climbing the stairs again. ""Don't fall through the floor," he said, dog tucked under his arm like a puse as he walked back up the stairs.