The Isle of IKEA, Tuesday Afternoon

[newroutines]

What was there to do when your sister had been murdered and your life hadn't been so great even before that?

Mike was really hoping being dragged out shopping for flatpack furniture and other useful items for the home was at least a partial answer to that, because that was what was happening today. It was about time because they needed assorted crap for the house, and really, Mike felt like he needed to be doing something to try and get Derek's mind off of things.

"So..." he said, looking at the list he'd tried to compile this morning. "We need stuff for the kitchen, and the bathroom, and some doggy things for Puppy Joe, and, uh. I think as far as actual furniture goes, we should look for a new couch."

[NFB. For he who is the grumpiest, oh yes he is!]

Comments

[newroutines]

"Depends on the red." Of course it did. "Are we talking like, strip club red?"

That was a vote against strip club red, for the record.

[Helps to press Send. Sigh.]

[justlurkinghere]

"Define 'strip club red.'"

[newroutines]

Oh, what, like that wasn't a universal term!

'Kay, maybe not for people who hadn't spent three nights a week for the last six years at a strip club. Mike's bad.

"You know, kinda bright? Looks good in low light but kind of trashy in actual daylight."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek made a face at that. "How about crimson?"

How did this conversation happen?

[newroutines]

Because interior decorating was serious business, okay?

"I guess crimson would be okay." He was so going to get something orange in their house even if it killed him, though. "Especially since I'm starting to get the feeling we'll be having this discussion a lot."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek would destroy it and bury it in the backyard, Mike.

"Because you want to decorate the house like a gay parrot?"

[newroutines]

"That's prejudiced and homophobic," Mike informed him. Not that seriously. "Also, anti-parrot. Do you really want to be all those things, Derek?"

[justlurkinghere]

"Oh no," Derek deadpanned, picking up a set of kitchen towels. "How will I live with myself."

And his fake, gay relationship. That was on the rocks.

[newroutines]

Yeah, Mike thought about mentioning that. But it didn't seem like the best thing to bring up, all things considered.

He did want this trip to be at least vaguely fun rather than depressing, after all.

"Don't know, think that's between you and the deity of your choosing. Just don't look down your nose at my taste, dude. I repeat, you didn't have electricity or running water."

[justlurkinghere]

"They weren't necessary."

Really.

[newroutines]

"And yet fighting me over orange stuff is?"

[justlurkinghere]

"Orange and black make the place look like we're really into Halloween," Derek pointed out.

[newroutines]

"Even a more peachy orange? Come on." That was different! Totally different! "Besides, you're one to talk!"

[justlurkinghere]

"About what." Don't be speciesist, Mike.

[newroutines]

"Youre a werewolf," Mike pointed out. Not loud enough for anyone to think they were anything but a bickering couple, though. "And you're concerned about me Halloweening the place up?"

[justlurkinghere]

"It's a species, not a lifestyle choice,"

[newroutines]

Mike waved a hand. "Yeah, whatever. You can't stop me from getting something orange. It's become my life goal now."

[justlurkinghere]

"I'll bury it." Like a bone.

[newroutines]

"Oh, God, you make it really hard not to make dog jokes right now," Mike had to say. "What've you got against orange, man? Come on."